The Better Blueprint

When Love Leaves a Trace

Grief, like love, doesn’t announce itself. It arrives softly, in the spaces where joy once lived, in the echoes of footsteps that no longer fill the room.

It is not the enemy of love; rather, it is the shadow cast by the light that love leaves behind. It doesn't announce itself with fanfare or grand gestures. Instead, it lingers quietly, emerging in the most unexpected moments—in the empty rooms once filled with laughter, in the familiar streets that now seem strangely foreign, in the subtle scent of a perfume we forgot we even remembered. Grief weaves itself into the fabric of our everyday life, a thread that reminds us of all the love that once lived here and, in some ways, still does.

It’s easy to mistake grief as a burden, as something to overcome or set aside. But, perhaps, grief is not something to conquer at all. Instead, it is love's continuation, love’s quiet insistence that it is never truly gone. It shows itself in the quiet pauses of our day, in the gentle ache that accompanies a memory, in the small details that suddenly feel larger, louder, more significant. Grief, in its own way, is a kind of love story—unfinished, yes, but profound in its lingering presence.

And so, while grief may sometimes feel like a weight, it is also a reminder—a reminder that we loved, deeply and truly. It is love’s afterglow, still warm, still present, even when we think it has faded. In every tear shed, in every quiet sigh, in every moment of stillness where we feel their absence, we are reminded that love never really leaves. It just changes form, becoming part of the very air we breathe, the very ground we walk upon.

Grief, in its own quiet way, is the proof that love leaves a trace.

Framework for Happiness

There are two kinds of happiness that shape our lives.

One is the quick, fleeting kind—Hedonic Happiness. It’s the rush you feel when you bite into a favorite meal, the warmth of a sunny afternoon, or the thrill of buying something new. It arrives in moments, bringing brief but real bursts of joy. Yet, like a wave, it recedes just as quickly as it comes.

Then there’s the deeper, slower kind—Eudaimonic Happiness. It’s the feeling that builds when you live in tune with your purpose, when your actions align with your long-term values. It doesn’t come from a single moment or event but from the quiet satisfaction of meaningful work, growth, and relationships that matter.

Aristotle was the first to recognize this type of happiness, suggesting that true, lasting joy comes when we live a life of purpose. Maslow echoed this in his hierarchy of needs, placing self-actualization—becoming your truest self—at the very top.

Both forms of happiness are essential. Chasing only Hedonic Happiness leaves you hungry for the next pleasure, like trying to quench your thirst with a handful of sand. But focusing solely on Eudaimonic Happiness can pull you away from life's everyday sweetness, robbing you of small, daily joys.

The key lies in balance. Enjoy the present, but stay grounded in what truly matters over time. Find happiness in the short-term pleasures but anchor your life in the long-term purpose that fills you with meaning.

Seek moments that light you up, but remember—the brightest flames are built on steady logs, not fleeting sparks.

A Great Quote

"Somewhere in the world there is a defeat for everyone. Some are destroyed by defeat, and some made small and mean by victory. Greatness lives in one who triumphs equally over defeat and victory." – John Steinbeck
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Book Review: Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s Flow delves into how humans can achieve lasting happiness through "flow"—a state of total immersion where one's skills match the challenges at hand. It’s the feeling of being so deeply engaged in an activity that time slips away, and external distractions disappear. This state of flow leads to deep fulfillment, rather than just fleeting pleasure.

The Concept of Flow

Flow occurs when tasks are engaging enough to challenge us but not so difficult that they overwhelm us. It can happen during activities like sports, work, or creative endeavors. The key to flow is a balance between the difficulty of the task and your skill level. When in flow, time either speeds up or seems to stop, and you’re fully absorbed in the moment.

Flow and Eudaimonic Happiness

Csikszentmihalyi connects flow with eudaimonic happiness—the sense of satisfaction that comes from long-term fulfillment, rather than short-term pleasure. Flow provides a more sustainable form of happiness, as it involves a deeper connection to purpose and personal growth.

Components of Flow

The book outlines several conditions necessary for achieving flow:

1. Clear goals: Purpose and structure keep you focused.

2. Immediate feedback: Knowing your progress keeps you motivated.

3. Concentration: Flow requires deep focus.

4. Control: Feeling in control of your actions fosters confidence.

5. Loss of self-consciousness: You forget about yourself and become fully absorbed.

6. Time transformation: Time feels distorted.

The Autotelic Personality

Those with an "autotelic personality" naturally seek out flow-inducing tasks. They find intrinsic motivation in the challenge itself, regardless of external rewards. The book suggests that developing these traits can help you experience more flow in daily life.

Flow in Work and Life

One of the book’s strengths is its emphasis on finding flow not just in leisure, but also in work, relationships, and everyday tasks. By applying focus and seeking challenges in these areas, even routine tasks can become opportunities for flow.

Practical Applications

Csikszentmihalyi offers practical advice for creating flow in life:

• Set clear goals to provide focus.

• Challenge yourself beyond your comfort zone.

• Minimize distractions for deeper concentration.

• Balance work and leisure to maintain flow in all areas of life.

• Seek flow in small tasks, turning daily routines into sources of satisfaction.

Criticism and Reflection

While Flow is highly insightful, it doesn’t fully address external barriers like lack of resources or systemic issues that can prevent people from accessing flow states. However, it provides a powerful framework for personal growth and happiness.

Conclusion

Flow is an inspiring, practical guide to finding deeper, more meaningful happiness. By seeking flow in both work and leisure, you can shift from the pursuit of fleeting pleasures to a life filled with purpose and satisfaction. It’s a must-read for those looking to balance short-term joy with long-term fulfillment.

About : Welcome to our fortnightly newsletter, where in each edition, you'll find two sections dedicated to personal growth, a meticulously curated quote to inspire, and a review of a life-changing book. Plus, we'll occasionally delve deeper into habits and self-improvement frameworks.